The lyrics from Leonard Cohen’s (thanks Tom) song “Hallelujah” speak such truth to the Christian. “It’s not a cry you hear at night, and it’s not someone who has seen the light. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.” That is the proper way to pray. A heart that is broken and tattered, crushed and seemingly ignored is when prayer seems to be most effective and life changing. As we look through the Bible, some of the most moving portraits of prayer take place when the prayer is being dragged through life by the very God they are praying to. David is being chased by Saul, Job has his finest possessions including his very family torn from his grasp, Jesus is being forsaken by His very Father and time after time in the beginning church, these new disciples are faced with oppression daily by an empire that is willing to kill without hesitation. Leonard Cohen may have never known the God of Jacob. Jeff Buckley may have never had the Abba experience, but they truly knew the agony of answerless prayers in order to be drawn close enough to God to do nothing but pray. That prayer is probably a muffled, broken prayer. It may be a prayer that is said through tears and sobs. Most likely, it is a prayer that is said while going through hardships, trials, tough times and mediocre communication with Jesus. Perhaps it is a prayer that is laced with anger and crossness. We are irritated with God for what he has put us through. “Why, God, why would you ruin my life like this? Why would you take my spouse away from me? How could you be such an unjust, partisan and inequitable God?” We are cold, broken and distraught and the only one to blame is the One who has the right to give and take away. Just as the baffled David is composing, we float through this life shaking our fist at God blaming Him for our downfalls and mishaps. “Damn you Jesus! I need you not. Stay out and stop ruining my life. You are useless, futile and create no sense of peace and are ineffectual.”
The response we get back is not something that is comparable to Christianese. It is nothing that is heard from a pastor. No, the response we get back is something that will bring us to tears and drop us to our knees. Through the thick of it all, we hear the faintest whisper much like Elijah heard on the mountain. Through the death of a close one and the loss of a friend, we hear the faint voice of God calling to us telling us one thing. “You are my child, I am your Father. I am the light of justice though the darkness of injustice covers your world. I love you, my arms are open and I know you are broken. Now, my child, fall into me and let me heal your wounds.” No earthquake, fire or hurricane could carry such a powerful word from God. At times the only way we can hear the most needed words is through the faintest of breezes. We will be sitting in our lonesomeness, sulking in misery at our most recent loss, and God will grab us by the face, look us directly into the eyes and simply be there. At times, I feel, that nothing needs to be said by God. We simply need to rest in His open arms and feel His genuine grasp around us and whatever situation we may be going through.
More often than not, our attempts at prayer are as previously explained. We sit in a quiet room and close our eyes and fold our hands as we may have been taught in Sunday school and begin with “Dear God.” How much easier is it to pray while things are going well in our lives! We get a raise at our job or have a good date with the opposite sex, get accepted to a school or teach some great sermon one Sunday morning. When God is good, we are thankful. On the other hand, what are we like when God isn’t as “good” as we would like to have him be? When God isn’t so good to us, we fail to be thankful and curse His name. What happens when He takes away and doesn’t seem to give back? How do we respond to a lost job, broken family situation or a suffering church? This is when we draw closer to God. Through the hardships of life God draws us closer to Him allowing us to truly feel his assured grip. We don’t feel God through those hardships and thus we feel disconnected and apart from the God who is supposed to love us. I believe that is our problem. We need to “feel” God in order to pray and be loved by Him. Brennan Manning says it like this, “As I grow older, I no longer feel God as I once had. But I don’t think God wants feelings, he wants faith.” In prayer, are we driven by feeling or faith? Are we feeling good and therefore God is good? If prayer is not faithful prayer, whether in good times or bad, it is meaningless. We may as well be praying to a wall asking it to heal our friend suffering with cancer or give us direction in our life. Stray away from trying to feel God and dwell in faithful prayer. God is the God of all in all circumstances. He is the source of all things through faith. Because of this, we must have the faith that He can accomplish all things.
5 comments:
Two things...
1. I have come to realize that blessings in this life are not guaranteed tomorrow. In the past when a realtionship, circumstance, or possession was no more, I was left disillusioned, sorrowful, and often times angry. My reaction showed that I did not understand blessings as gifts that are freely given (which means that they can be taken away). Looking at them in this true light allows me to relish the blessings I have today: family, a home, a car that runs, legs that take me running, a job I enjoy, etc. A heart focused gratitude is less apt to be tossed by the disappiontments of loss; it realizes blessings for what they are and is so busy treasuring them that there is not much time for dwelling on what has not been given or what has been taken away.
2. I heartily agree that it is in our brokenness that our need for Jesus becomes so evident. You are right in that leaning into him is our only choice at times. The crazy thing is that each time I have done that, each time I have cried out to him in total desperation, he meets me (usually quietly)...and day by day, he continues to do that...giving me enough bread, enough strength for each day. Suddenly I find myself a month out and realize that the Lord brought me through a really brutal time and I am awed by his faithfulness. And as I continue to see it over and over again, my faith in him grows. Brennan Manning mentioned that he and everyone else in the room had at least one thing in common: evidence of God's faithfulness in their lives. I liked that.
You are onto something here, Jon. Keep those fingers typing.
And, yeah, this got way too long!
You mention Leonard Cohen and then Henry Cohen. Was this on purpose? Henry Cohen was the 1st Baron Cohen of Birkenhead while Leanord wrote that song inspiring this blog. Just a bit confusing.
After reading this blog, I have much keener insight as to why Tom really likes you. I might also. Give me time.
great blog...keep writing I love to read it :)
So I'm like 5 months late with reading this but I have read it now and here's what I think; you couldn't be more wrong. . . kidding : ) I totally understand where you are coming from but I can't help but defend the happy people who have nothing to complain about at the time of their prayer. I mean yea if Nick died I think that God and I would have to be communicating on a different level because I would be so desperate for a reason for breath but you said "That is the proper way to pray. A heart that is broken and tattered, crushed and seemingly ignored is when prayer seems to be most effective and life changing." I think my life was changed the most when I became a Christian and it wasn't because the world was crumbling around me. God met me where I needed to be met and that was showing me the family of Christ in a youth group and I new how amazing heaven will be. As far as I understand, prayer is communication with God, and praising God and being happy with him and thanking through prayer should be effective and life changing. For example on your wedding day you can't stop thanking God for creating your marriage and you never imagined it would be so fulfilling and magical and in that prayer of thanksgiving and hope for your marriage your whole life changes and you and your spouse become one. So anyway I don't need to go on and on. I'm not saying your wrong and actually thought that what you said was beautiful and I agree. I just want to tag on that a heart that is overflowing with love and joy can pray properly too.
Mother Teresa was asked what she said to God when she prayed. She said she didn't say anything she just listened. Then he asked what God said and she said He just listens. For me prayer in dark hours is more memorable but because so is to that dark hour. It's those moments of intense prayer when faith is revealed. I would not have spent nights cursing God if I didn't have faith that he was listening. Like my dad once told me he didn't stop believing in God after his dad died when he was 16, he just stopped talking to Him.
I'm starting to think the dark prayers are the mustard seed faith. It's the period of God tilling the ground to plant the seeds to grow a harvest of faith. I always loved Psalm 13 which is short and to the point:
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
I think in our journey this is where our faith should lie in the verses above. Spend time questioning, working it out. Then when the time comes we and hopefully it isn't to far off we can finish the Psalm which says:
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has dealt bountifully with me.
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